And Then There Were Three

Just about a year ago my only sister, my baby sister, tied the knot.  We watched her and her soon to be hubby exchange vows of love, devotion and understanding all to the light hearted humor of a priest who recognized that a marriage without laughter would be a long and tedious path--at best.

Fast forward one year later. Literally, almost one year later, To. The. Day.

Now their cozy little family of two has become three. They've welcomed the birth of their first {and possibly only} son, Caden. He decided he didn't want to wait around in the womb perferring a grand enterance into the world two weeks before he was expected. Even though he was early,  he is perfect in every way.

I wasn't able to attend the birth or hold my only nephew at the hospital since my sister lives out of state and my own troublesome twins were set to have their final T-ball game the next day. So, plans were made and begging of rides to the airport began. Besides my own issues of air sickness {I'm adorable when I'm air sick as my own husband is apt to tell me} I made it alive{barely} to see my freshly born nephew.

Once at my sister's house I was momentarily transformed back to the time when my own babies were actually babies. The sweet smell of baby powder {yes, I showered before I held him so I didn't stink}, the way that little bundle snuggles up in the crook of your arm to ensure that warmth is on-going, the soft cooing as milk induced sleep overtakes them into the land of sweet dreams. Ahhhhh, it almost makes me want another one...almost.

After I'm done ogling over the baby-- I turn to look at my sister and see a look that I know all too well. It's the look of  "Oh my God, what am I doing? Am I doing it right? Please, tell me I'm doing this right!"  It's a look shared by all new mothers alike. We just want reassurance without having to ask for that reassurance that we are doing a good job, that in some way we are not going to be the reason our children end up in therapy---regardless of the running jokes in sitcoms. I saw that this short weekend trip would not just be a chance to get to know my nephew, but to reassure my sister that she was indeed doing everything right and that all would be well. Now that I have my "new mommy" days behind me it's always interesting to see the realization of a new mommy-the sheer surprise that something that only weighs seven pounds could boss you around turning your life upside down.

The scary part about new babies is that their repertoire is limited. They cry, wet diapers and sleep. If any of these needs are not being met they cry to let you know. Unfortunately, they also cry just to cry which usually freaks out new mommies {myself included} causing the new mommies themselves to cry. I believe in crying it's good to let it out otherwise you'll go crazy and not the funny kind of crazy that makes you the hit of a party, but the scary not washing your hair, talking to yourself while walking in circles crazy. Not that walking and talking in circles to yourself is bad---I've been known to do that occasionally too. Husbands try to be helpful. They hope to guide you and offer advice during birth; which, can be comical since the act of giving birth on their part is to tell you to "breathe", "relax" and "you can do this." Summing up their birthing experience with "whoa that was rough" as you try to figure out how you're going to go to the bathroom since you can't move out of your hospital bed.

My sister is doing a fabulous job and being a mommy is absolutely the hardest job that I've ever taken on and it will be the hardest job she, too, will ever take on too. Being a mommy is not the Hallmark card that everyone makes it out to be. Behind those adorable photos is a mommy with unbrushed hair and a dream that one day they will pee alone.

My darling baby sister, whom I love dearly, will one day pee again, and eventually see the grocery store as a chore rather than the fantasy escape it is right now. Her sweet baby boy will right his schedule so he will sleep at night rather than all day, She and her hubby will mourn the life they had and welcome this new life they have created together. She is strong, but will learn the value in asking for help rather than suffering in silence---if she needs a break she will learn to ask for it, because being a mommy doesn't make you invincible it makes you realize that a happy mommy is good for everyone including a new daddy.

So, welcome Caden. Welcome to your family. There will be times that you won't want to claim us {I speak from experience here}, but just remember the first time we met I did NOT puke on an airplane and my make-up and hair was perfect, flawless if you will. Besides, I'm the coolest aunt you know; because I will eventually buy you that drum kit your parents never dreamed of when they bought your cousins all those light up music toys.

It's All In How You wear Your Davidesqe Shoes

Each person will meet one of their many Goliaths throughout life, and must don their Davidesqe shoes {I imagine strappy adorable wedge sandals personally} in order to challenge what they believe is wrong.

 I have come face to face with one of my Goliaths in the past few weeks: my city council. In my city we are lucky to have a city run before and after school care program as well as a phenomenal preschool program. My four-year old twins have blossomed in this preschool environment. I count myself lucky that they have had this wonderful learning experience the year before they go to kindergarten.

The city tried to cut our preschool program and completely eliminate our before and after school care. Tried. Until the parents united and became their children's voices. We spoke at council meetings and stood our ground when the City Manager came to reiterate that the continuation of the programs seemed bleak at best.

Until, the third and final meeting with the City Manager. I had no intention of going to this last meeting. I was too busy. What I was, I was really too angry.

 However, my gut said, go. So, I pushed the anger down grabbed my notepad and decided I would go and listen.

Listen. {Ugh, I just want to shake my fist and yell}

Listen and really try to hear what was being said and try to express my feelings and thoughts in way that would break down the wall I built when I was snarky and sarcastic thorn in the City Manager's side at the previous meetings.

This meeting was different. One, I kept my mouth shut {well, as best I could} and interjected when I thought I could share valid points and tried to support the other parents. Secondly, it felt like we were heard and for the first time despite the words of  "I can't offer you hope right now" from Thaddeus, {the aforementioned City Manager}but the parents around that table felt just that. Hope.

I'm not sure how things changed or if it was the unity of our voices that showed Thaddeus he might want to look into stock options for Tums with all the heartburn we were likely to cause him, but within the week things changed. For the better-- we won. Won. There will be some changes, but they are mild into comparison of what was initially proposed.  My kids are allowed to continue in this wonderful program with loving teachers and exceptional support staff well into their kindergarten and elementary school years. For this I am thankful.

In an attempt to extend the olive branch I expressed my thankfulness to Thaddeus I delivered a celebration cupcake from my favorite cupcakery {Miss. Priss in Long Beach California.} I just hope he takes it with the good will it was intended and enjoys the cupcake {only later to realize that upon eating the cupcake he is officially on save preschool and child care bandwagon if they ever try to cut it again.}

So, stand up to your Goliath. Put on your Davidesqe shoes and rock your rights-- you may just win and help leave the world a little better than you found it.

A Person's a Person No Matter How Small

Besides being an English teacher I am a mother. There are days when I think this is the best job because magically the stars have aligned and the world seems peaceful.  Then, there are the other days when the world you have set up begins to crumble and you are left trying to put the pieces back together; no matter how haphazardly it's done.  The latter defines the past few weeks of my life. 

I live a fairly small town in California, Santa Fe Springs to be exact.  My city, unlike many cities
provides a city run preschool and before/after daycare program. My troublemint twins have blossomed in the preschool program-it's been amazing with the little things that their minds absorb. We came home one day to a package on our front steps and my four year olds touted, "Mama, the post came,we have a parcel!" What four year old shouts the words parcel or post? Kids who have had preschool teachers who go above and beyond than what is necessary. I digress though.

Through the loss of expected state monies our fair city has decided that running a childcare program and preschool program will either be cut completely or drastically reduced. The day that I heard that my twins would be unable to use the after school childcare program with licensed professionals was a sad day. I understand budget cuts. My husband works for the county and I for a school district. We get budget cuts, but our city does not. It's austerity for some not all. So, I started going to my city council meetings and what I heard made my blood boil. The outrageous spending on non-core services was ridiculous and to watch those that I helped vote into office congratulate themselves on only spending  $104,000 on art made my stomach churn. If children are not core services at four, five and ten then when are they? Do we wonder how they went astray when they are in the youth intervention program which continues to remain feeless?

I've decided that I must be my children's voice. The council members do not see them, since they do not have the ability to vote.  I will continue to tell my children, "You is kind, you is smart, you is important". These are not words painted in a novel, but words that have meaning behind them. I hope that as I blog my journey that even if you do not live in my city you will see what your city has decided are not core services, but concern your children. You may be surprised how much money there is to spend when it's not on the children who will grow up and make the city in which we live in a better place.

So follow me on my journey, I'll need all the support I can get.